Cheating

Building on my last post about handling a cheater, I'd like to take a little more of an in-depth look into cheating.

For those of you that do not know me personally, I play Magic: The Gathering quite seriously. In recent days, there have been a rash of bannings for cheating, which has prompted me to think about this subject in terms of dating. I typically save my long posts for Mondays or Tuesdays, but I felt like I should write about this subject. I am going to be very blunt both in my proposed questions and answers to those questions.

When a person cheats in a relationship, does this bring about a stigma that they will do it again? Once a cheater, always a cheater?

The answer is no, it does not mean that.  A one-time offense of cheating does not set you on the path of unfaithfulness for the rest of your life, and neither should anyone assume your character will be forever questionable as a result. I do believe that you need to exercise slightly more caution when courting someone or being courted by someone who has cheated before, but do not let it completely rule your judgment.

Examine the facts behind the incidence of cheating. Was it done under the cloud of liquor? Perhaps the relationship had already gone sour and was moving towards a breakup. Maybe things were just fine, and someone was just feeling like they needed to do something very stupid. In any case, there is always a reason for one’s actions, whether the reasoning is good or not. It is up to you to determine if you are comfortable with the reasoning and can date someone who previously cheated. You are not doing this to see if the cheating is justified. Let me be clear that cheating is never, ever justified. You are just trying to get the facts of the situation down.

Let’s look at this from the standpoint of the cheater. Are you now completely untrustworthy? No, you aren’t. Just because you cheated once does not mean that you are an utter sack of lying shit. However, if someone you are trying to court or are being courted by inquiries on the circumstances behind your cheating, I heavily advise that you are as open and honest about it as you can be. No matter how scathing the action was, you need to be upfront, because if that person finds out through back channels, you can kiss any chance with him/her goodbye.

You also need to show that you have developed the emotional maturity to move beyond your one-time mistake. If you admit that you did something wrong, that’s half the atonement right there. Now all you need to do is show that you won’t do it again. I have great respect for people who can do this, and your love interest should as well.

I now come to the multiple offender. The serial cheater. Loves putting his d**k in so many different orifices that they could call his junk a shovel. Do the same pieces of advice and rules apply here? Here comes my bluntness. Never date a serial cheater. Do not associate yourself with that kind of person. They are a serial cheater for a reason-they have a problem and they cannot stop. They need some sort of professional help to break the habit. Unless you are that person, it is not worth your time. These people have not matured past their problem like the one-and-done cheaters, and will only continue to cause emotional duress.

I understand this subject is very sensitive, and hope that I have not offended anyone. Much love to all my readers.