How To Handle Being Cheated On

I will preface this post by saying that I have never been a victim of nor a culprit of cheating. I believe myself to be very fortunate for this, but as such, some may find my opinions to be not as well-founded as someone who has experienced this pain. Whether or not your feel this way, I believe I have a good opinion on the matter.

Being cheated on is never a good place to be. You put your trust and faith in a person, he/she turns around and spits it right back in your face. What do you do? Do you completely cut ties with this person? Do you try to work things out? Do you ignore it and move on?

I know that the third hypothetical is rather odd sounding, but I included it to help develop my argument. I cannot stress how important it is NOT to ignore an obvious cheat. Do not do it. It is unhealthy for your psyche and for your relationship. it sends a message to your partner that he/she can go about being unfaithful as he/she pleases. You need to be mature, open, and confrontational when cheated on. If there is evidence to support it, take it seriously. Make sure it is strong evidence, of course, and do not jump at even the slightest hint of cheating every two seconds. This makes you look like the untrustworthy one.

So, you are presented with substantial and well-founded evidence that you have been cheated on. Your boy/girlfriend had a few drinks last night while out with his friends and hooked up with this girl. A number of people tell you about it, and you confront him about it. He shows remorse and swears it will never happen again. What do you do?

There are a number of paths you can take. You can have a civil discussion about what happened and give him/her ample opportunity to explain his/her actions. If you feel that it was truly a mistake and that he/she truly didn’t mean to do it, you can probably forgive him/her. I would advise that you keep a close eye on him/her though if he/she puts him/herself in a situation similar to when he/she cheated.

If you aren’t a fan of the one strike rule, you can simple cut ties with that person no matter what explanation he/she gives you. I want you to know that this is perfectly understandable and would be what I would do in this situation. Sometimes the emotional damage is too great to overcome, and you’re better off just ending things rather than dragging your feet through something that you believe is broken.

Whatever your decision ends up being, make sure you can justify it to yourself and others. Don’t shake people off if they think you should think more carefully about it.

In closing, I would personally advise that you never go beyond a one strike rule. Cheating is a serious offense. The first time could truly be one hell of an accident, but anything beyond it is a pattern in my eyes.